So today was my first real day of school. I started last week but I wasn't really together. Today we did everything that I planned to do. I didn't plan much, which is probably why I was successful. I'm learning to keep it simple. It's so tempting after reading all these great homeschool blogs and websites to want to do it all. But I can't. And instead of comparing myself with others (which the Bible tells me is unwise anyway), I've decided to be grateful. I'm grateful for all the homeschooling moms that have gone before me. I'm grateful for all of their ideas. I'm grateful that they've been doing this thing a lot longer than I have and that I can glean wisdom and inspiration.
I'm also grateful for my own little ones who are so oblivious to their own needs, and subconsciously look to me for guidance hoping that I will make the best decisions concerning their future. Yes, I've decide to be grateful. Instead of crumpling under the enormous pressure of it all, I will give thanks. I'm grateful that I live in a place where I can make choses for my children, and that their future is not determined by someone else. I'm grateful that I've let go (or at least trying to) of self-imposed burden of living up to some ideal, and just excepting myself where I am, knowing that I'm not going to stay here. I AM growing, I AM learning, I AM changing, and one day I'll look back to this season and smile knowing that I did't waste a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. Thank you Lord for your grace.